“I did not sleep at all last night. It hurts like the devil! A snowstorm whipping through my soul, wailing like a hundred jackals. Still no obvious symptoms that perforation is imminent, but an oppressive feeling of foreboding hangs over me . . . This is it . . . I have to think through the only possible way out: to operate on myself . . . It’s almost impossible . . . but I can’t just fold my arms and give up.

“18.30. I’ve never felt so awful in my entire life. The building is shaking like a small toy in the storm. The guys have found out. They keep coming by to calm me down. And I’m upset with myself—I’ve spoiled everyone’s holiday. Tomorrow is May Day. And now everyone’s running around, preparing the autoclave. We have to sterilise the bedding, because we’re going to operate.

“20.30. I’m getting worse. I’ve told the guys. Now they’ll start taking everything we don’t need out of the room.”

I started chatting with my friend regarding Chinese culture on the mainland. I’ve never been, but from what I’ve read and heard, it sounds like the culture as I know it, as I lived it through my parents and family friends, is rapidly disappearing in China. Humility, reservedness, politeness, looking out for each other, that seems to be disappearing, being replaced by something new, something I don’t really recognize. I’ve heard you shouldn’t be too surprised if complete strangers straight up ask you how much money you make. Then again, I had a Japanese-American girl ask me how much I make right in public in front of a group of friends (we were all eating dinner at a sushi restaurant). That was a little surprising, and awkward. I can only guess at her agenda.

But yeah, it’s kinda sad; I feel like if you want to see large samples of old Chinese culture, you have to look in either neighboring Asian countries, Taiwan, or among Chinese emigrants living abroad. Maybe that divergence in culture is the source of contempt that I see sometimes. Once in awhile, I’ll encounter a Chinese person that will strongly emphasize a disconnect between Chinese abroad and mainlanders. “No no, we’re not like the mainlanders!” It’s kind of surprising. But perhaps it is a watered down version of how the US felt towards England in the 18th century?

Ron Hsu
11:08
i think it’s part of the capitalism frenzy that’s taken over
i dunno what it’s like in the “motherland” since i’ve never been, so maybe you can shed some light
but i kinda feel like chinese culture as i know it
is kinda being wiped out there
and that the chinese elsewhere are more chinese then it is over there

Lim
11:09
people in China are assholes
how about that, haha

Ron Hsu
11:09
lol

Lim
11:09
like seriously
you go into any store, you’ll tend to get jack shit for service
it’s really odd
people cut in lines
it’s like wtf

Ron Hsu
11:10
oh yeah i heard about the queueing thing
mob rush

Lim
11:10
me and my brother were at a mcdonald’s standing in line

Ron Hsu
11:10
and people i hear are super forward

Lim
11:10
and this couple jsut goes right in front of us

Ron Hsu
11:10
rofl

Lim
11:10
and we look at each other like, “wtf?”
the forwardness is how I feel with people from Hong Kong
it’s just so odd, the whole chinese culture
nobody looks out for anybody else

Ron Hsu
11:11
you mean generally speaking or how it is over there now?

Lim
11:11
over there now
I guess it’s hard to say

Ron Hsu
11:11
yeah that’s how i feel

Lim
11:11
not like I know any chinese that were there before

Ron Hsu
11:11
it feels like the culture that i practice at home
is not there at all in the motherland anymore
but yeah just comparing with how you and your parents interact
well i dunno how asian your parents are
they seem more assimilated than my parents

Lim
11:12
yeah, but not completely americanized
they still eat chinese food for every meal
or at least asian food
and read the chinese papers and bag on taiwan

Ron Hsu
11:13
lol your parents are anti taiwan?
that’s funny

Lim
11:14
yeah, it surprises me since they went to college in Taiwan

Ron Hsu
11:14
that’s so funny

Lim
11:14
and weren’t born in the mainland, so I figured their allegiance would be with Taiwan
but nope, they side with the mainland

Ron Hsu
11:14
wtf
hahahah
so they want unity?

Lim
11:14
well they like it the way it is now

Ron Hsu
11:14
forced unity or whatever

Lim
11:14
and think taiwan is crazy for wanting to break up
although I think most people think that’s true in general
hahah

Ron Hsu
11:15
that’s really interesting, i had heard of these type of chinese people but only from word of mouth
and now i hear your parents are like that

Lim
11:15
these type?
I thought it was just mainland vs taiwan

Ron Hsu
11:15
lol yeah but in my sphere usually it’s supportive of taiwan
my family, friends of family, etc

Lim
11:15
really? hmm

Ron Hsu
11:15
it was rare for me to encounter a pro mainland

Lim
11:15
but they’re all from taiwan, right?

Ron Hsu
11:15
my grandma is extremely against me marrying a mainlander
yeah

Lim
11:16
hahaha
well see
I think my parents are the only “mainlanders” I know
everyone else is either from taiwan
or hong kong, and if they’re from HK they don’t give a shit and just want money

Anyway, I blame their Communist party mixed with extreme poverty. You’ve got an ultra poor, massive proletariat, that then comes into total power. A chance has opened up, everyone wants money, everyone else be damned! It’s the financial equivalent of yelling “Fire!” in a very, very packed theater with a very small exit. Then there was the really retarded Cultural Revolution…that was just wow….just wow. End musing.

For the record, if it’s not clear already, I like Koreans, I like Korean food, I like Korean culture. In fact, I hope to learn Korean someday, and maybe visit South Korea.  Hell, even just saying “I like <ethnicity>” sounds prejudiced to me.

Having said that…USDM K-Rage amongst young Koreans, does it exist?  I’m going to stop with the PC-ness right about now, but yes, I realize even if it does exist, it doesn’t mean everyone has it, blah blah blah, standard issue disclaimer, always is never always. Never is never never.

About a week ago, I met some people at an informal tennis get-together. We went to Red Mango afterward (Korean-created btw, irony for later), and we started talking about ethnic foods, which lead to the ethnicities themselves. One of them, a young’n fresh out of HS, a young whipper-snapper who shall remain nameless, then made a joking comment that he didn’t like Koreans. He quickly apologized, emphasized he was just kidding, etc. etc. Don’t be hard on the lad, he’s truly a nice guy. I feel bad for even mentioning him, despite the anonymity, but he got me thinking.

I guess I didn’t know how to respond. My self, as I am now today, immediately red flagged the comment, where I may not have had before (but more on that later). My mind started racing. At first, I was gearing up for some verbal throw-down. Possible responses were coming up as all my historical knowledge came to bare. Then I got a hold of myself. “He’s a young one, you know how kids are.” Besides, if I did start spewing out stuff, I imagined information overload on his part. Picture Vader telling Luke he’s Luke’s father. “Nooooooooooo! It’s not trueeeee!”

Then my brain went into over-analysis mode, which it oft likes to do of its own accord. “Hmm, he’s Japanese. It’s possible he’s familiar with the current international politics between the Koreas and Japan, as well as past history. Perhaps his parents told him some stuff, possibly biased. Need more info.” Then I thought. “Dude (did my mind really address myself as ‘dude’? I don’t know), he just graduated HS. He probably isn’t familiar with politics at all, much less international politics. A lot of my friends my age have no f’n idea.”

Which then lead me to realize that….*I* used to think like him when I was in high school. Oh shit. Danger, Will Robinson! Yes, I admit it, back in grade school, I had a generally negative opinion of Koreans, particularly the males. And it was a sentiment that a probably statistically significant amount of my other Asian friends shared as well. No, I wasn’t hanging around a bunch of Asian KKK folk; it was a diverse group of Asians, who didn’t all know each other, and yet somehow had a common sentiment. I don’t know how many will remember or admit to it today. Actually, I just randomly asked one out of the blue:

I wasnt exposed to much koreans when i was young
in highschool yea, and they were kinda assholes

Me:the chicks weren’t too bad

no its pretty much all of them
if u werent korean they wouldnt be nice to you
unless u knew them or something
in highschool this older senior korean dude was prick
until he got to know me
then we were cool
cuz i joined his [Counterstrike] clan

The video game binds them!

So “Cool Tennis Dude” really got me wondering, “Where did these sentiments come from? Do they still persist today in grade schools (and possibly beyond)? Was ‘Cool Tennis Dude’ just going through similar experiences in his school days?” 1 week later (yesterday in fact), I was at Pink’s Hot Dog stand, and a group of Caucasians and one Asian girl were talking about how they didn’t like Asians (at least, that’s what I thought I had heard;  I didn’t want to tell them off for something heard out of context. And if I heard right, I think it was the Asian girl who was saying it all, which complicated matters). My friend (half-Japanese) actually heard more: “Asians have anger issues. Especially Koreans. Nobody likes Koreans.” How sad. Then I remembered one of my Chinese coworkers who had just graduated college at the time. She had expressed something similar one day at work. “They’re scary.”

So what exactly is/was the general gripe? Generally speaking, the stereotype was that Koreans were assholes, particularly the males. The females, to me, at least, were fine. Seriously, I’m going through all the Korean male kids I knew in grade school, and every single one of them was an asshole.  Wanna-be thugs. Sure, every ethnicity had the wanna-be thug subset, but even the fucking nerdy Korean dudes were assholes!  Hell if someone told me the reason it was like that back then was because there was some secret Korean Militia forming, I might half believe it. The only nice male Korean friend I had was in 3rd-5th grade. Then I transferred districts. 2-3 years later, he transferred in as well. Holy shit balls, he was totally different -> Asshole! He wasn’t just the same guy, who became snarky, he truly seemed like a completely new person to me. My friend who had also transferred earlier remarked the same thing. Wtf happened? We’ll never know. It’s one of those unsolved mysteries.

It wasn’t until I went to college where I met normal, sane Korean dudes (and super smart Korean women, woo woo! Haejin the mathematician, I wonder what happened to her). Maybe the males matured. But now that I think about it, the sane dudes were almost always immigrants. KDM (Korean Domestic Market) Koreans. That’s a car joke. KDM essentially would mean, built or available only in Korea. So, from my personal experience, the USDM (United States Domestic Market) Korean males tended to be assholes, whereas the KDM Koreans tended not be. Fascinating. See somewhat related musings regarding Jessica Ho.

So is there something there? It could be just sheer coincidence that people across multiple cities and multiple decades somehow ended up with the same sentiments. If not, what is the source of the hostility? Not enough love from Papa? Eh… Maybe Papa was not home much? Hmm…I’ve seen worst case examples of males like that, and it doesn’t quite fit the bill either. Did pappy bring the smack-down? Hmm maybe. Or did father-dearest give the broodlings (Starcraft joke, wah wah) a history lesson a little too early? This is my best guess, and it truly is just a pure guess. “Japan invaded Korea many times. They were hard and cruel.” “China was not fair with Korea in the past. They are pushy and bossy” (a sentiment many countries feel towards America these days, eh?). It’s that or, “Koreans are superior. NEVER FORGET THAT, BOY!” None of that really explains the disconnect between USDM and KDM. I have no idea, but maybe my previous link will shed light on that. This is all just musings anyway.

So while in college I met a Korean girl (USDM type), and the topic somehow came to the history of Japan and Korea, she bitterly replied, “Yes, I know what they did!” To be honest, I think she has every right to be upset about that. You wouldn’t decry a Jewish person for being upset towards Nazis. But now I wonder how early she was introduced to that knowledge. Looking back, I realize now my parents were very aware of atrocities committed during World War 2, but they largely shielded it from me, and kept silent on it. I’d hear the occasional obscure remark from my dad, “Those Japanese people are obsessed with sex!” But for the most part, they were silent. “Oh you like a Japanese girl? That’s nice.”

I eventually did learn about Japanese atrocities on my own, at around 15 years of age, maybe younger. It was inevitable I suppose. I had developed an eager interest in Japanese history. The new information definitely sparked rage in me, perhaps similar to what these Korean dudes were going through. It wasn’t so much the atrocities themselves that enraged me, although there are some really twisted examples that would make their Nazi allies shy away, but it was the general level of denial by contemporary Japanese. Totally blew my mind.  Do a compare and contrast vs Germany and Japan post-war, totally different. It took a long time for me to calm down about it.  Now I enjoy running circles around Japanese nationalist logic.

So that’s my ghetto theory. If you’ve got one, share. I’m wondering how a USDM Korean would respond to this. I should ask some of my friends.

And please, for the sake of the kittens, don’t have USDM K-Rage.

If you’ve been offended by this post, I apologize.

I bought the cheapo safeway floss and I kind of feel like I’m flossing with razor wire. I am actually a little afraid to floss now. I have had to slow down my flossing speed to effect greater care.

http://lab.andre-michelle.com/tonematrix

Space bar clears it. You can also right click and copy paste. You can get extra creative by opening up multiple tabs.

The creator’s blog post about it is here.

Hmm so going off his blog, it looks like he based it off something called the Yamaha tenori-on, but each note acts like an omni-directional wave to trigger surrounding notes, but with diminishing amplitude? Or something like that; I actually have no idea what effect the waves have on the audio, if any. Each wave can also bounce off the “walls” or interact with other waves. Pretty neat.

He also has some cool stuff in his lab: http://lab.andre-michelle.com/

http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/Music/04/09/billy.bob.thornton.interview/index.html?iref=mpstoryview#cnnSTCVideo

The interviewer, Jian Ghomeshi, rolls pretty well with it, though. Props to him. He’s a bit fazed, but he soldiers on, and doesn’t let himself get steamrolled. Quite frankly, Thornton made a fool of himself, and Ghomeshi really came off as the smarter man. Thornton starts wildly defending against Ghomeshi’s logic by talking about smoking rules.

Ghomeshi: “OK, but do you know that people are listening across the country and across North America, and they might think that’s odd that I would not mention anything to do with your past.”
Thornton: “Well, I think it’s odd that you have to smoke inside a white stripe outside, hehe.”
Ghomeshi: “That is also odd. Yeah, but that’s a little different. That’s a rule and regulation. I’m just trying to do a show and give people context of who you guys are.”

Full eye contact, Ghomeshi is not taking your bullshit, Billy Bob.

Ghomeshi: “Given that you seem to be quite passionate about music, I was wondering about your…”
Thornton: “Would you say that to Tom Petty?”
Ghomeshi: “Would I say that he’s passionate about music?”
Thornton: “Yeah.”
Ghomeshi: “Yeah.”
Thornton: “Really?”

Yes, really you dumb shit. It’s a normal, innocuous thing to say.

I can understand that as an artist, he may not want his music to be defined by his acting, but he’s just being an asshole, and there really didn’t seem to be much basis for his infantile behavior. Some articles claim Ghomeshi implied that Thornton’s musical endeavors were merely a hobby, but I thought Ghomeshi’s intro did well to say otherwise.

Quote: “The Boxmasters is anything but a diversion from the silver screen. he’s always intended to make music, and he just got sidetracked.”

Sorry for the rant. Divas annoy me. You’re not the Queen of England. He needs to be put in a cage match with Chuck Liddell where they can debate about the usage of the term “first love.”

Coincidentally, today I saw a South Park link from Jennifer that deals with Kanye West’s diva-ness. They should make one about Thornton.

http://www.southparkstudios.com/episodes/220762/

Here’s the youtube version of the interview. It’s more complete.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJWS6qyy7bw
You can see on his screen @2:24 that the producer already has a contingency plan with some new Metric. Hmm, I like Metric. I wonder what song it was.

Anyway, so I leave you with Simpsons clips. And some good ol’ bjork.
http://www.hulu.com/watch/32395/the-simpsons-simpson-women

http://www.hulu.com/watch/1185/the-simpsons-april-fools-origin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjAoBKagWQA

And why not some Monty Python. The following is from one of my favorite scenes of Holy Grail. Pretty ghetto looking these days, but I like the dialogue.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcxKIJTb3Hg

Ah, Miyazaki. His mama raised him right! I’m totally going to sound snobby, but I’m going to say it, “Pixar stuff is overrated” and Miyazaki stuff is underrated (in the States anyway). Uh oh. Maybe it’s the foreign factor (I suspect it’s a big factor). I was watching some youtube vids of clips/music from some Miyazaki movies not too long ago, when I felt multiple bouts of nostalgia. And then I realized, “I never feel that way towards Pixar movies.” Lion King, yes. Pixar movies, no.

They were entertaining when I watched them, but that’s it. Fin. I remember enjoying the Toy Stories, but no particular scene or concept pops out at me. The same goes for almost every other Pixar movie.  Cars? Meh. “Helloooo Porsche.” Nemo? Centrifuged cuteness  = one trick pony. I remember little from Monsters, Inc.

Visually Pixar stuff is great, but they just don’t seem to push the creativity envelope that much. To be honest, they don’t seem to go beyond the inherent, default creativity of using non-human avatars.  But that’s been done since Steamboat Willie.  Congrats, you’ve got talking toys and a rat.

Rather, they seem to go for macro-creativity. “Ok, we got a rat, now let’s make him a chef and have the whole movie revolve about that.” “We got a talking car, and he needs to discover himself and what really matters.”  Tried and true, human development stories as told through non-human entities.  Cute, but not memorable. I have re-runs of The Wonder Years for that.

On the other hand, I wasn’t a huge fan of Mononoke Hime either, and yet, particular moments from its rich tapestry still stand out. Girl wearing a murder mask with a dagger doing the dance of death. There is beauty in her savagery. Her mother is a giant wolf. Dude riding a giant deer thing. The animal alliance. The music.  Now that I think about it, Wall-e is like the visually upgraded, preachier, yet less diverse version of Mononoke Hime. And Wall-e’s already faded from my mind.

Then there’s Spirited Away, one of my favs. I found the main girl’s depicted mannerisms to be one of the most observant of any animation I’ve seen in a long time. I acutely remember how the girl is shown when she tries to go down the scary steps. It seemed so realistic. It actually stirred some feelings and memories of when I got stuck in high places as a young kid. I also remember thinking how I would probably never see something observant like that in an American movie, and that  it seemed to reinforce the stereotype that America is about brute strength, whereas Japan/everywhere else is about finesse.  American muscle cars vs nimble imports.  We can throw a bucket of cute at you, but we can’t get the little details down.

And of course, the famous Totoro. Wasn’t a big fan either. But come on, cat bus. And…giant fuzzy, scary, gray, bear thing.

I suppose it’s not fair to compare G-targetted Pixar movies with Miyazaki films that may contain more adult elements. Miyazaki can push a bit more. He has a wider palette accessible to him. Yet, his works tend to be a bit more understated. Pixar movies go for consistency for the whole family, but Quad Damage shotgun you in the face with cute. MOREEE? YOU WANT MORE?? It’s like, “Do you want a less interesting, but bountiful flat line with a consistent score of B or something a little more interesting and risque that oscillates between C and A?”  Do you want one guaranteed, pleasing musical note, or a mix-up that you may or may not find favorable?

I wish I could find it, but I read an industry article somewhere long ago where Miyazaki was pretty much hailed as the god of animated stories by international “peers”. I think even some Pixar dudes were in it saying how they aimed to do what Miyazaki does.  Not to be mean, but I don’t think they ever will, to be honest. They’ve been around for quite some time, and they’re not exactly pushing any edges or raising any bars (except for the visual side). I don’t think the investors would have it any other way anymore, because they’re a great, highly profitable, cuteness factory.  It’d be cool if they pulled an Anne Hathaway.

I mean, check out this article.

Pixar takes a risk with ”The Incredibles” — With a new director, a PG rating…

Ooooh risky!

Still, good stuff. I watched Ratatouille a second time and enjoyed it just as much as I did the first time. I just don’t find very much of it memorable or nostalgic. Oh, wait. When the critic gets his flashback. That was cool. Holy shit it’s 5am. I need a DeLorean.

It never ceases to amaze me how powerful asking for forgiveness can be, and in kind, forgiving. It equally ceases to amaze me how stubborn some people can be in refusing to ever admit being wrong. Because that would be weak. To me, it’s cowardice; it takes more balls to swallow pride, than it is to ignore the issue.

I remember when I was still a student at UCI that there was a professor who was doing some controversial research pertaining to the unreliability of eyewitness testimony. She would ask witnesses highly suggestible questions after they had viewed a traumatic scene, and voila! The witnesses would “remember” it the way she suggested. Apparently she got harassed a lot for such research, from media and law enforcement alike.  Supposedly one reporter would actually hound her, and sit in all her classes, trying to sensationalize her work as depicting all eyewitnesses as lying, incompetent boobs.  I *think* the researcher in question was Professor Elizabeth F. Loftus, but I’m not sure. Oh, ha, I didn’t finish watching the second video above, but Professor Loftus is in it.

Even among my friends, it’s kind of interesting to see who is more consistent and who is not. When there’s a common memory among multiple friends, there’s usually divergence. Then there’s always that person who, after a few months, will pass off someone else’s words and ideas as their own.

False imprisonment is pretty much the biggest reason why I’ve mellowed out with the death penalty. I know, I’m liberal, I should be against it by default, but with particularly heinous crimes, I just can’t help it. But with so much room for error in our system, the death penalty just isn’t right. Which makes Texas and Japan particularly scary to me, both liberal democratic governments. I’ve read that Japan has a prosecution rate over 95%. In other words, if you’ve been accused, and you stand trial, you are almost certainly going to be found guilty. The defensive rationale is “only the truly guilty get that far” or some BS like that. So don’t get to that stage. Because after that, they can execute your ass with only a few hours prior warning (look it up). Then Texas is Texas. There was one case, I wish I could be more specific, but I don’t recall the names anymore, where an “arson expert” who was about as much of an expert as I am at the bbq grill, pretty much singlehandedly lead to the execution of the accused. Multiple real experts from out of state looked at the evidence, and determined that the first guy had no idea wtf he was talking about.

Anyway some links:

PBS’s site for Jennifer’s case

Edutopia links on witness testimony research

http://www.pirate4x4.com/forum/showthread.php?t=763645

[Update: Yeah, it's fake.] Wow. One can never be sure if people are being flat out retarded or if they are just trying to create a new internet meme.  

This ranks alongside Direct Exhaust Injection (the guy thought if he routed his engine’s exhaust back into his intake, he would have unlimited, perpetual power), and the guy who ran sand into his car’s intake thinking it would polish his engine.